Nathan, from the second I heard those words “we found a body” my heart sank. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think and now that I’ve managed to at least move, all I can think about is one moment you and I shared years ago, over and over, that same insignificant moment repeats in my head. I can’t tell you why. It was your birthday, you’re first year playing for Marilyn, Jamie must have been two. You said you didn’t want to do anything but I insisted on at least having your favorite ice cream. Do you remember this? When I brought back mint chocolate chip and you asked why I thought that was your favorite, I was so confused. Anytime we had gotten ice cream together that’s what you always choose, but you told me rocky road was your favorite, and you looked at me so tenderly, Nathan, and you said you always choose mint chocolate chip because you knew it was my favorite flavor. And that’s when I realized for the first time you hadn’t been making any of your decisions for yourself, you were doing everything for me all along, for your family. And it occurred to me that we still had so much to learn about each other, and since then, Nathan, I’ve learned about the wonderfully selfless, humble, strong man you are. Nathan, I can’t hear that you’ll never come home again, that I’ll never learn something new about you again, never experience your selflessness, your love, your warm touch again. Nathan - please. Have we really had our last conversation? our last kiss? I don’t know what I’d do. Please
One Tree Hill
